RAD (1986)

aka the greatest BMX movie ever made!
Okay well i'm not really an expert on BMX, or BMX films, but i would like to think i know my shit about cheesy 80s teen flicks, and RAD (hella) qualifies as one of these.
I didn't even realize I owned this movie (an out of print VHS copy) until i reorganized my movie shelves. Intrigued by the title, i popped it in and was instantly brought into the world of BMX.
This film never made it to theaters but gained success as a straight to VHS release in 1986, and now has a strong cult following.

Synopsis from IMDB because i'm too lazy to write one on my own:

The story of Cru Jones, a young man who can overcome all obstacles that prevent him from participating in the BMX race "Helltrack." As he works towards his dream, Cru falls in love with Christian, an amateur racer. With the help of Christian and her friends, can Cru's "Rad Racing Team" defeat the top BMX factory rider, Bart Taylor?

SPOILER ALERT

The answer is yes, yes he can. Bart starts off as the super hot, blonde, proBMXrider asshole who has a change of heart at the end of the film and wants to race Cru without pulling any tricks. Cru wins the race, keeps his dignity, and gets the girl. It's a pretty classic sports movie scenario that manages to pull off some laughs, not all intentional.

I think my favorite part of the film is the school dance which for some reason the pro-BMX riders attend (and the mayor?). They have an awesome dance scene and then Cru and his love interest Christian (Lori Loughlin of Full House fame) engage in the most glorious slow-mo dance atop BMX bikes routine i have ever seen.
Now that i think of it, this film's greatest accomplishment is probably its mastery of slow-motion.
I could watch Cru and Christian sliding down that water slide into the river in slow motion for hours.

If you don't know what i'm talking about and wish you did, watch the whole movie. It's all on youtube, here's part 1:


Then again, if you just want to watch the school dance scene then just watch it here in part 4:

Man, I really want to see this movie. I don't even know the title of it, and goddamn I just really want to see it. I think it's because that tagline is just too enticing. I mean who would walk by this poster and not notice the two huge, voluptuous eyes on that woman, and that oh so sexy and chiseled Daniel Craig bod covered by a very nice looking black jacket. Seriously, this movie poster looks like it's got the two greatest assets any film needs to successfully sell itself. It's in the essential black and white, and it's got a release date! What more do I need from a poster than that? You got my ticket sale movie, you can count on that!

Okay real talk. I don't fucking get this stupid as shit poster for Girl With A Dragoon Tattoo. How did this poster even get released? It's just so incredibly, obviously, sexist i just...i don't...why?! I mean come on can't you at least pair the naked chick with a naked Daniel Craig?


Oh wait, now i get it, is her being topless the only way we can see her dragon tattoo? This is like that muppets poster where Kermit is secretly hiding in the trees above Amy Adams and Jason Segel. Can you find her dragon? I haven't found it yet, but then again the only place i've looked is her crotch.

HOLD THE PHONE!!

I've been informed this shit's underlying theme apparently is about sexual violence against women. So wait, really? This is the poster they choose? Now this fucking poster pisses me off even more. Is it okay to objectify the main character of a film because she's also going to send some sort of message about rape being bad? Exploit her it's fine, cause you know, in the movie you'll see she's really sending like a totally positive message or some shit like that.