You guys ever find yourself obsessing over an actor or an actress that no one seems to give a fuck about? I have a few of them and my most prominent one is the one and only Bronson Pinchot.
Pinchot was pretty popular over twenty years ago. He was in a bunch of those 'iconic 80's greats' such as Risky Business, Beverly Hills Cop, and most notably the hit sitcom Perfect Strangers. Pinchot was the best at playing "guy with funny accent". With Balki it was sort-of Greek, and with Beverly Hills Cop it was pretty French. When Pinchot wasn't being pseudo-foreign he was playing cool American guy roles such as, Lloyd in Martin Scorcese's dark comedy After Hours.
I first fell in love with Pinchot when he was on Step by Step (oh my god, oh my god remember Step by Step? Lol 90's kid nostalgia!) He was the ultra French hairdresser, Jean-Luc. Then I saw him on The Surreal Life years later and was brought to tears every time he was brought to tears. Remember when he cried for Janice Dickinson who was all sad and crying because Omarosa was being an uber bitch to her? I do Bronson, I do.
Pretty much, Bronson Pinchot is a funny as fuck actor. If you disagree with me i'm going to have say it's because you wouldn't know comedy if it hit you in the face with a cream pie then made you slip on a banana peel as you were running to first base and being asked Who was on it.
Aside from that though he's also a really cool guy. I mean, he went to Yale (before he was famous, Franco) and graduated magna cum (teeheehee) laude. Not only is he a devout member of The International Wizard of Oz club, but he's also a Freemason. A fucking Freemason you guys.
When he's not busy having a funny accent or crying for self-obsessed has-been super models he's also busy buying land in Harford, Pennsylvania. Why you ask? No it's not because he's one of those multiple mansion owning celebrity fucks that just want a shit ton of houses for the sake of having a shit ton of houses. It's because he's trying to restore all the land in hopes of making the town look like it's in the 1800s again. Yeah, he wants to own a town and make it go back in time. That's fucking cool.
Anybody ever watch The Trouble With Larry? Probably not because only three episodes aired. Some clips are on youtube (like the one below). Here's the premise, copy and pasted from IMDB:
"During his honeymoon, the irrepressible Larry Burton is dragged off into the jungle by a large-sized male baboon and is presumed dead - eaten by apes. However, defying all odds, Larry survives and, after many comic-strip-type adventures, returns home to re-establish himself as head of the household - little realising that his wife, Sally, has married the staid and conservative Boyd Flatt during the intervening ten years, and that she is now the mother of a bright and lively nine year old daughter. Larry's return home causes considerable upheaval and consternation for the family - not least being his subsequent attempts to woo a reluctant Gabriella, his former sister-in-law, who had taken a distinct dislike to him prior to his disappearance and is still definitely opposed to the idea of getting to know Larry on a more intimate basis."
Hmmm, being trapped on a foreign land for ten years. Everyone presuming you're dead. Coming home to find out your wife is married to some guy that sucks. If I didn't know any better I would say this is EXACTLY the plot of a certain movie that was a HUGE HIT. You know the one i'm talking about. Fuckin CAST AWAY.
Conspiracy time:
Tom Hanks fucking HATES Bronson Pinchot because Perfect Strangers rocked so much harder than Bosom Buddies. THEN Bronson steals the fucking show in RISKY BUSINESS and everyone completely ignores that BACHELOR PARTY even fucking happened. Full of rage and jealousy, Hanks is determined to make sure Bronson never succeeds in Hollywood again. This sitcom comes out and though the public LOVES it, and it has such OBVIOUS potential Hanks bribes critics to call it the worst piece of shit they've ever seen. The show gets cancelled and fast forward years later HANKS HAS TWO FUCKING OSCARS while PINCHOT IS A MEMBER OF SOME FUCKING WIZARD OF OZ CLUB.
Fuck you Tom Hanks, and you're little stupid volleyball too.
As far as i'm concerned, if Bronson Pinchot was never around, the 80s would have never happened. Seriously, it would have just collapsed in on itself, and damn…I never would've been born. That's a scary thought. A lot of you 80's babies wouldn't have been either. Woah, Bronson Pinchot gave you life guys. Think about that next time you watch the Beverly Hills Cop trilogy.
