If you haven't guessed already, i'm talking about the ever beloved foods that are PIZZA and BURGERS. Seriously, the two greatest foods in the world to put in a movie. Believe it or not, many articles have already been written about "greatest pizza scenes in a movie" and "best fast food scenes" etc. However, has anyone ever done the unthinkable? Has anyone pitted the two iconic foods together? No? What i'm really trying to say is...
THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS A FUCKING BLOG POST DEDICATED TO PIZZA VERSUS BURGERS. GO AWAY NOW IF YOU'RE LAME AND THINK THIS IS STUPID
We can say now that pizza obviously wins when it comes to porn flicks thanks to pizza delivery boys graciously adding "an extra special sausage" to every order. However, does pizza reign supreme in the non-pornographic film world?
This is the part of the post where IF i were a lame and out-of-touch suburbanite I would compare this battle to Tupac versus Biggie. However, i know that that was many years ago and is highly irrelevant today and that only other lame and clueless fucks would find it funny which is why instead i'll say...
Man, PIZZA versus BURGERS. It's like KOBE versus SHAQ am i right? So hard to decide!!
At first glance it might seem that burgers take the prize due to the number of much more "quality flicks" they happen to be a part of. Just think of any diner movie, or movie with a well known diner scene, and chances are it's got people eating burgers. However, that's also the problem. You see unlike pizza, it's not as likely for the burger to be acknowledged outside of the eatery it's being eaten at.
Burgers tend to need that locational crutch in order to keep themselves prevalent. Pizza on the other hand, isn't fixed to a location. It is more appreciated outside of a geographical realm, and is more often than not beloved for what it is as opposed to where it is coming from.
Then again, can't deny when a burger gets its props:
This is the opening credits to Hamburger: The Motion Picture. This movie is seriously the most "America" movie I have ever seen. A super stud white dude is sent to BUSTERBURGER university (name of burger franchise) after being kicked out of every other college he's attended because he KEEPS HAVING SEX with women and CAN'T FOCUS ON SCHOOLWORK. My favorite part of this movie is the fiery Latina woman from the country of GUACAMOLE. This movie seriously has everything you need for a successful comedy. Sex, racism, capitalism, and a fat guy.
Regardless of all this. I still can't help but lean more towards the pizza side. It just doesn't rely as heavily on the "name brand" support that burgers got. Get what i'm sayin? I guess in a way you can say pizza just hasn't like, totally sold out you know? Pizza is like Bill Murray before Garfield (this paragraph just solidified that i am the shittiest person in the world).
And another thing, burgers and their tight relationship with fast food restaurants have become more detrimental than anything. In more recent years, films such as Super Size Me and Fast Food Nation helped ruin the fun for everyone by showing us just how crappy and gross burgers really are (thanks a lot Morgan "Buzzkill" Spurlock).
So there it is. I just about figured this shit out. Pizza rules all, forever and ever. You're welcome America.
P.S. HOT DOGS ARE THE FUCKING WORST THEY NEED TO BE OUT OF MOVIES FOREVER HOLY SHIT THEY SUCK SO HARD
